Bottled Grapes
by tapioca two-step
Summary: It's always springtime in the enchanted spring where the Harvest Goddess resides. The harvest sprites want to show her how beautiful Fall can be and set out to bring all the wonders of the season right to her feet...with interesting results. Written for Accidentally The Whole Fanfic's Pumpkin Equinox Prompt. Set in Animal Parade, because Animal Parade. Rated for language.


Summary: It's always springtime in the enchanted spring where the Harvest Goddess resides. The harvest sprites want to show her how beautiful Fall can be and set out to bring all the wonders of the season right to her feet...with interesting results.

A/N: Written for Accidentally The Whole Fanfic's Pumpkin Equinox Prompt. Set in Animal Parade, because Animal Parade.

* * *

"What do you guys think? Isn't that a great idea?"

Alan, the ringer of the Fire Bell, concluded his impromptu speech with a flourish. He danced around his fellow sprites, awaiting their enthusiastic response with bated breath.

"Let me get this straight," Colin said, holding up his hands. Alan winced immediately. He knew that the earth sprite, prankster though he was, was the most likely of his companions to dash his idea to pieces. "Because it's Fall and everything is dying, you want us to go out and bring a bunch of bracken to Sephia's throne to celebrate it?"

Alan glared at him. "You weren't paying attention. It's not just the land that changes in the Fall, it's the people! They have all these food-related festivals, and they dress up in cool clothing, and they have a great time. Anyway," he sniffed, "Castanet _is_ the most beautiful in the Fall, so why not make the Goddess Grove just as beautiful? Look at the colors of the trees! How wonderful would the Tree look if we decorated it with all those reds and golds and purples? I'm telling you, she's going to love it!"

"It sounds like a lot of work," the water sprite, Ben, murmured. "We'll have to start now if we want to have everything ready by tonight."

"Have what ready?"

The sprites gasped. Lady Sephia was leaning over the edge of the pool, a vision of shining beauty and grace. A _nosy_ vision.

"Harvest Goddess, you have to give us some privacy!" Alan begged, dancing around her bare feet. "We want to give you a surprise!"

The Goddess covered her mouth. "Oh. Where else do you wish me to go?"

Alan puzzled a moment. "The King's Seat!" he finally decided. "Go visit with Lord Ignis, and we will come get you when everything is ready."

"Very well. If you insist," the Harvest Goddess said with a smile. She bowed to them as her form grew transparent and vanished. As soon as she was gone, Alan dashed up the marble steps and waved the other sprites after him.

"Okay, everyone, gather round for your assignments!" He waited until the other four were lined up on the mossy stones in front of him. "All right. Ben, since you're the water sprite, I want you to catch a king fish."

"But those are huge!" Ben protested.

"Right. And they're the best kind of fish in the sea, so we'll need one for this celebration. Actually, I know there's a huge arowana swimming around in the pool somewhere. We can roast it along with the vegetables that Colin's going to get—" and here he shot a cutting glance at Colin—"so we can all eat and celebrate like everyone else does at the Harvest Festival."

"And what are you going to do, oh mighty leader?" Colin asked.

"I'm going to make the bonfire," Alan said. "We'll build it near the steps so the flames don't get too close to the Goddess Tree. How else are we going to have a feast if we don't cook anything?"

"We're going to end up cooking ourselves if we're not careful," the earth sprite said pointedly. Alan put his tiny hands on his hips, glaring at him from beneath the brim of his pointy red hat.

"I'm going to be supervising everything, Colin. It will all go fine. We'll have a feast and dance through the night and enjoy the Fall just like all the humans do."

"It does sound fun," Ben admitted, and hopped down the steps towards the pool to begin his search for the gigantic predatory fish that prowled in the clear water. Alan watched him go and nodded briskly. "Good. That just leaves Daren and Edge."

Both he and Colin looked at the remaining two sprites. Daren, the wind sprite, was flat on his back, his green hat pillowed under his head. Edge, sniffling, nudged Daren with his foot.

"Daren," he blubbered, "wake up!"

"Yeah, this is going to go _great_ ," Colin said, as a drooling Daren sat up and looked around blearily. Alan brushed him away.

"Edge, your job will be to gather as many nice-looking leaves as possible and hang them up on the Goddess Tree so that it looks like its got fall foliage. Do you think you can do that?"

"Do you think you can do that without becoming a snivelling ball of hysterics, you mean," Colin said snidely. Alan shot him a dirty look as Edge teared up.

"I-I don't know, Alan. I'll probably just mess it up..."

"Come on, Edge," Alan said desperately. "You don't even have to go very far. Just pick a pretty leaf from each tree around this clearing and you'll have a ton of them in no time! Daren can even help you!"

"Would it make you feel better if one of us wished for you to do it?" Ben called from the side of the pool. Sniffling, Edge nodded.

Colin saw his chance and jumped on it. "Okay, I wish you'd stop being a leaky faucet, get your sprite ass in gear, and start collecting leaves."

While Daren calmed a hysterical Edge down, Alan took Colin aside and gave him a stern lecture about empathy and choosing words carefully. "I don't want to see you back here unless you've got every single kind of fruit and vegetable that grows on Castanet in the Fall!" he said, stomping his foot. "That means rice and eggplant and yam and pepper and pumpkin and carrot and spinach!"

"All right, all right," Colin grumped. "I'll be back later. Good luck with the harvest sprite of narcolepsy."

Alan turned around. Daren was fast asleep again. He heaved a sigh.

"Right," he muttered. "A bonfire. Gotta get kindling…."

* * *

Edge wandered the perimeter of the Goddess Spring, an orange oak leaf in each hand, dragging them behind him like they were huge weights. "I'll never get enough leaves to make the Tree look pretty," he hiccupped. He wandered over to the Tree and set the leaves against the trunk, then plopped to the ground and started wiping his tears.

Daren, hearing his sobs, rolled over and looked at the purple sprite. "What's wrong now?" he yawned. Edge explained his problem.

"Gathering leaves?" Daren said. "That's easy. I'll help you out."

So saying, he sat up and raised his arms, calling on the wind bell. Immediately there came the distant sound of rushing wind and the answering stirring of the trees.

"We'll need lots of leaves," Edge reminded him. Daren nodded. The wind in the forest around them picked up until it sounded like river rapids.

Hearing the distant roar, Alan looked around the orderly pyramid of dry twigs and kindling he had made. His face blanched when he saw a tidal wave of fire-colored leaves rise from the forest. The shadow of the leaves fell over him, blotting out the sun, and he barely had time to duck before they smashed into the sacred grove and covered him, the pool, and the Tree.

By kicking and burning through the leaves atop him, he managed to climb onto the leaf pile. At the same time, Daren and Edge's heads appeared by the Goddess Tree, which looked none the worse for wear despite the assault it had just endured.

"What were you guys thinking?" Alan shrieked. "We could have died!"

Edge began bawling again. Daren collapsed on the leaves and began to snore. Frustrated, Alan kicked at the carpet of leaves, then stopped to admire them. They really were very beautiful, and would make a nicely colorful dance floor for them to dance on later.

"Okay," he said. "Gotta build that bonfire."

* * *

Ben was hovering near the side of the pool, inspecting every shadow in the water. He knew the arowana liked to swim near the roots that grew out of cracks in the marble walls, but he hadn't spotted it yet.

 _It'd be a shame to eat it, though,_ he said, thinking about its golden body and lacy fins. It had an upturned nose, which gave it a haughty look, but he supposed it had a right to be proud, because it was so beautiful.

He was still trying to think of a way to catch it when he heard Alan shrieking about leaves and turned to look over his shoulder. His eyes widened when he saw the same wave of leaves come crashing into the clearing, and he ducked behind a root just in time to avoid getting slammed into the water by a forest's worth of foliage.

"That was close," he breathed, pressing his back to the root and heaving a sigh of relief. Hearing a bubble rise to the surface of the water, he looked down—

-and saw the arowana looking at him from right beneath the water's surface. It had its flat eyes fixed directly on him, and suddenly Ben was keenly aware of just how much he would look like a tasty bug to a fish.

"Oh, _fish,"_ was all he managed to say before the arowana lunged out of the water at him, its mouth gaping open.

* * *

"What do you mean, you don't have grapes?" Colin asked as he squeezed the last carrot into his bag.

Finn, the farmer's harvest sprite, looked sheepishly over his shoulder. The farmer was in the field, pulling the last of the spinach out of the ground. She hadn't noticed that he wasn't there helping her. "She's not growing grapes right now," he said. "You can have all that other stuff, but we don't have any grapes to give you. You might try the bar in Harmonica Town, though. He's got lots of them in bottles. They're easy to carry, too."

"Bottles?" Colin asked. "Why do humans keep grapes in bottles?"

"Dunno. But he's got lots of fruits in bottles there. Why do you need all this stuff, anyway?"

"Alan wants to have a Fall party for Lady Sephia."

"Oh," Finn sighed, "that sounds wonderful! All we've been doing is working for days—"

"Finn!" the farmer called, sitting up. "Where'd you run off to?"

"I better go, Colin," Finn said hurriedly. "Good luck with those grapes!"

 _Humans are weird,_ Colin mused as he made his way to the Harmonica Town bar. _But they make really good T.V. dramas so I guess it's okay._

He slipped into the bar via an open window. It was early enough in the afternoon that the owner and cook were still setting up. Sure enough, there were rows of bottles with pictures of different fruits on the labels. He grabbed a few of the grapey ones and headed back to the Goddess Spring.

* * *

"Come on, come on," Alan hissed as he fanned the tiny flame under his kindling pile with a leaf. "Why isn't it catching?"

"Maybe it's because of that last rain we had," Daren mused. "Everything is a bit damp."

From behind the Tree's protective trunk, Edge said, "Maybe we could take turns blowing on it to dry it?"

"That shouldn't matter," Alan said, his voice jumping in time with his pumping arms. "I'm the _fire sprite—"_

"Whoa, what happened here?"

They looked up. Colin appeared on the pool's steps, a bulging bag over his shoulder and a couple of bottles in his hands. He glanced around at the piles of dead leaves heaped all over the once-immaculate Spring. "It looks like the forest threw up in here!"

"Be quiet and come over here and help," Alan muttered. Colin laughed and set the food and drinks down by the Tree. "Watch these, Edge," he said, then moved off to help the others.

Edge watched the other three sprites try to build the fire. Suddenly, the air began to smell sweet. He realized the sweet smell was coming from one of the bottles that Colin had brought. Cautiously, he reached out, uncorked a bottle and took a sip. And another.

* * *

"Nice bonfire."

"Colin," Alan said between clenched teeth as they stood around a fire no bigger than an oak leaf, "I'd like to see you make one that's any better."

"Hey, my pride's not on the line here, Mr. Fire Bell," Colin giggled. "I upheld my part of the bargain by bringing—"

"FfffffffUCK you, Colin!"

The voice behind them was so strange and terrifying that it made Alan and Colin and Daren huddle together. Leaves crunching under his unsteady feet, the harvest sprite of wishes staggered up to them, an empty bottle clutched to his chest. His gaze was distant and his cheeks were bright pink.

"Edge!" Alan gasped. "What on earth?"

Colin was dumbfounded. "What did you say to me?"

"Don' ever call me a…a crybaby again or I'm going to _beat your ass into fairy dust."_ Edge squinted and stabbed a finger at Colin, still gripping the bottle.

"What's he got in his hands?" Alan demanded.

"It's just bottled grapes!" Colin said, still reeling from Edge's profanity.

"Bottled grapes?" Alan grabbed Colin by the shoulders and started to shake him. "You mean to tell me that you gave him wine?!"

Behind them, the flame they had been fanning began to leap higher in response to the fire sprite's anger. Daren, feeling the heat, backed away from it. "Guys…" he stammered.

"I didn't give anything to him! I told him to watch it, not drink it all!" Colin screeched.

"Y'all…mother…fffffff*hic*uckers need to start treating me with a li'l respect!" Edge slurred, swaggering over to them. "I'm the sprite of motherfffffffffffffucking _wishes, bishes."_

"You got him _drunk,_ " Alan shrieked. "Lady Sephia's going to kill me!"

"He got _himself_ drunk! It isn't my fault that he can't hold his liquor!"

"Guys!" Daren thundered from behind them. "We've got a bigger problem!"

Alan and Colin spun around.

Their colorful leafy dance floor had caught on fire.

* * *

The two harvest deities were enjoying the sunset when the Harvest King sniffed the air.

"Sephia," he said slowly, "I think something is burning."

The Harvest Goddess sighed. "I should probably get going."

* * *

Later, after Sephia had put out the fire, comforted Edge, and admonished Colin for giving alcohol to a minor, she and the other sprites settled under the Goddess Tree to watch the full moon rising above the dark forest.

"It really was a very nice idea, Alan," Sephia told the dejected fire sprite. "Maybe next time, we can all work together to have our own celebration. How does that sound?"

"It sounds nice, Harvest Goddess," Alan muttered into his shoulder. Sephia smiled.

"If it helps, I think Fall is quite beautiful, too. My favorite part is how crisp the air gets at night, and how clear the sky becomes."

"I like the pumpkin pies that the farmer bakes," Colin piped up. "And how all the food seems to bring everyone together and makes everyone happy."

"I like how all the animals begin to hibernate," Daren muttered in his sleep.

"Could everyone please shut up?" Edge snapped. "I have a killer fucking headache."

Sephia patted him on the back. They were all quiet for a while.

"Wait a minute," Alan said suddenly, sitting up straighter. "Where's Ben?"

* * *

 _I hammered this one out and I had a blast with it. It turned out to be more crack-y than I planned, but that's the fun of writing by the seat of your pants on deadline day!_

 _Thanks to Accidentally The Whole Fanfic for this fun challenge! Happy Fall (although technically isn't it winter now?)!_


End file.
